You all need to stop. Either you’re way too obsessed with what a twenty year old girl is doing for fun and money, or you’re way too obsessed with bandwagon clickwhoring. I don’t care which it is, just stop stinking up the internet with your worthless bullshit.
The latest trending topic is this matter of Sinéad O’Connor writing an open letter to Miley, to tell her to stop being a prostitute or whatever. Men are taking advantage of her, and she is taking her clothes off, and Sinéad’s motherly instinct compels her to stage an intervention for a complete stranger, in public via the internet. This isn’t surprising to me. I remember Sinéad O’Connor, and I remember how batshit fucking crazy and unstable she was, is, and probably always will be. This is par for the course for her. And her course is a mini-golf course, inside a funhouse, inside a circus, on the moon.
What surprises me is that the entire internet cheered Sinéad on. Actually, no, I shouldn’t say that surprises me. I get it. Everyone has bought into the narrative that Miley Cyrus is some kind of train wreck, because that is the most interesting version of the story. And so that’s the narrative the media is pushing. And when anyone, even Sinéad O’Connor says something that seems sort of intelligent, that lines up with something you already believe (regardless of whether or not it is actually true), you cheer. But it’s bullshit. It’s making something out of nothing to get clicks by preaching to a choir of people that you help ensure will always be morons. If that’s what you want to do with your life, have fun.
most of the blogs making fun of miley twerking do the journalistic equivalent of twerking all day fucking long.
— Antiquiet (@antiquiet) August 30, 2013
We haven’t been posting about Miley, but it doesn’t have so much to do with integrity or class as the simple fact that we just don’t see a story there. A twenty year old artist is having fun with herself and her sexuality. We can see she’s not doing it for desperate attention like Lady Gaga is, so there’s not even anything to make fun of. We watch interviews with Miley, and she usually seems at least as smart as the interviewer, if not after adjusting for the age difference. So when Miley news breaks, 99 times out of 100, we say, who gives a shit? So old white dudes are making money off of her? Wow, she must be a major label recording artist.
But this isn’t really Miley news. And this isn’t about Miley anymore. This is about all you fucking idiots who didn’t stop and ask yourself what right Sinéad O’Connor has to lecture a young woman who by every measure is more successful, more secure, and more stable. We can all sit on our asses and suggest she needs better parenting. We can be horrified at the idea that it could be our daughter, pulling her nipple out for creepy-ass Terry Richardson’s camera. But we should be more horrified at the idea of Sinéad O’Connor being anyone’s fucking parent. And Miley knows as well as you should that it’s Sinéad who is and always has been the train wreck here.
Before Amanda Bynes…. There was…. pic.twitter.com/6JZPVnunPc
— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) October 3, 2013
Now you’re all watching this play out, exactly how you should have known it would go. Miley passes on the motherly lecture by a bipolar, suicidal maniac (via a snarky tweet, because she is twenty years old), and Sinéad goes haywire, writing more letters, and threatening legal action. How motherly! Sinéad wasted no time in showing her true colors, and following up the fake motherly blathering with a less discreet explosion of the self-important “kiss the ring” bullshit it actually was all along. In her second letter, she wrote, “taking me on is even more fuckin’ stupid than behaving like a prostitute…” And that is why Sinéad shouldn’t be anyone’s parent. Where one would expect grace and compassion, we get an insecure gangland threat, from a 46 year old who is now acting more like a recess yard adversary than a mother.
And this story shouldn’t be that Miley needs help. Miley’s having a blast. The story here is that the media sucks, Sinéad O’Connor is bonkers, and you all need to stop falling for it. You need to learn the difference between the crazy shit you yourself did as a twenty year old, and being genuinely fucked in the head, like Sinéad O’Connor.