We’re going to try and make this obligatory trip to bullshit land as brief and entertaining as possible. Justin Bieber, who might possibly be Miley Cyrus in disguise as part of some kind of demented Hannah Montana reboot, was recently arrested for being a giant fucking asshole. Drag racing and resisting arrest, while drunk. He smiled for his mugshot like it was a Tiger Beat cover shoot, and just is pretty much a worthless human being. Okay! Well, Murs and Curtiss King have published their thesis on what is going on with the Biebs:
Meanwhile, fat ass big cock Ron Jeremy has re-created Miley’s Wrecking Ball video:
Patti Smith performed a beautiful cover of Rihanna’s Stay at her 67th birthday party in NYC. Here’s a video. She called it the song of the year for 2013. I can’t even argue with that. The more I hear it in the background, not consciously recognizing it as a Rihanna song, the more I realize what a simple little perfect pop song it is. I’ll be damned if I haven’t accidentally learned every line and chord change.
I have my limits though. Lorde has an even-younger sister who is now making music. Look, I’m already out on a limb here vouching for one young, untested, potentially misguide-able pop star. But I can’t handle any more. I am not fucking ready for two Lordes. Please get the fuck out of here with that shit for the time being.
Tegan And Sara have teamed up with The Lonely Island on a silly song for the Lego movie soundtrack. It’s called Everything Is Awesome. Snort some crushed up Smarties and listen here. At this point, Tegan And Sara are basically just trolling folks like us who like them enough to post all kinds of shit they wouldn’t otherwise touch.
Chromeo have dropped a new song from their forthcoming album White Women. It’s called Come Alive, and it features Toro Y Moi. I can never figure out where I stand with these guys. Like, I’d hire them to play a party, but I don’t know if I’d ever pick up any of their albums.
Finally, Prince is suing pretty much everyone. This month’s slow clap honor goes to Steven Anthony, who not only broke the story before anyone else, but did so by incorporating Prince song titles in every line of the story. That’s some God-level music journalism.