There are reports that terrible rapper DMX is set to fight terrible human being George Zimmerman in a “celebrity” boxing match. A few actual journalists are figuring out that this hasn’t really been confirmed yet, but that hasn’t stopped all kinds of people from raising outrage and starting petitions over the idea of Zimmerman “cashing in” on his killing of Trayvon Martin. DMX has made his intent clear, were this fight to go down: “I am breaking every rule in boxing to make sure I fuck him right up… I’d urinate on his motherfuckin’ face…”
This is not the society we want, but it is the society we deserve. This is how we solve our Shrödinger’s zeitgeist, in which this is all simultaneously satisfying and disgusting: If Zimmerman’s trial was fair, and he is in this hell unjustly, at least he’s cashing in on his infamy. And if he got away with murder, well, we’re going to let DMX piss all over his pudgy little bitch face. You know, I’m really not sure we can do much better than that.
Oh, but that’s all just the tip of the iceberg of people getting their asses kicked by American artístes. As some of you have pointed out, our buddy Josh Homme dealt swift physical justice to a fan that crashed the stage at Queens Of The Stone Age’s show in St. Petersburg Florida Tuesday night. Here’s the video, and the action starts at 1:16:
Afterwards, Homme noted, “You can tell I’m getting more mellow as I get older.” Yeah, maybe. Either way, he wasn’t quite as merciless as Queens native Action Bronson, who fantastically put down a giant security guard that stormed onto his stage in Portland, over Bronson’s lighting up of a joint. Here’s that moment of zen:
Finally, let’s end on a less violent note: Today would have been Bob Marley’s 69th birthday. Toronto’s crack-smoking, binge-drinking, pussy-eating fat pile of crazy misanthropy mayor Rob Ford (who is apparently a native of Jamaica himself) has declared this day Bob Marley day in Toronto. Of course he did.