This is the state of America on Monday morning. The fight’s over, the wall has fallen, the nation’s great big orange pimple seems about to burst, and a major city is completely fucking drowning as we watch on TV. Meanwhile, I’m just trying to get to Friday so I can disappear into the forests of Oregon for a couple days.
- Let’s all join Eminem in the most American chant you can utter today.
- Holy blue fire hell!! Did you catch the Mastodon boys in the Game of Thrones season finale?
- The gall of MTV. Those menacing plankton held the VMAs last night, so while the rest of us watched Jon Snow kill all the orcs and save Falcor while pulling the incest lever once and for all, the sillypop legions were saddled with a show that included Lorde performing by just dancing (not singing), Katy Perry telling flat jokes and more excitement.
- Honestly, here’s all you need to know about that shitshow.
- Watch The Hound and Tormund sing a spoiler-iffic duet.
- The guy who invented the Dothraki language looks exactly like the kind of guy who would do that.
- Of course it is. Game of Thrones rock musical is on the way.
- Siri helps autistic kids, and that’s awesome. Just don’t leave them alone with Alexa.
- Brian Johnson jumped onstage with Muse to tear some shit up at Reading, much to everyone’s surprise.
- We’ll wrap up the Thrones jabber with a theme song performance on a 12-string.
- Now you can make music nobody will ever want to hear, almost entirely on an iPhone.
- Ugandan schoolgirls live in a highly limited society, so they share thoughts, ideas & awareness through singing and rapping, particularly about menstruation. The boys, too.
- Here’s why Avenged Sevenfold‘s lawsuit about their record deal with Warner Bros. could have major “7-year rule” implications for the industry.
- Cartoons making music popular… not exactly new, given that an entire generation was introduced to classical music through Looney Tunes.
- Prince’s art director has some stories to tell.
- Eddie Vedder was on Twin Peaks, and played a character named Edward Louis Severson – his own real name. Here, have some heartbreak.
- Will Smith and DJ Jazzy Jeff are dropping the bass on a super-shitty EDM-driven new single. Stop. Stoooooop.
- Frank Ocean has a new lyric video for Provider.
- Shania Twain gives away the secret to her own “You’re So Vain” moment. But it’s in the lyrics anyway, so.. yeah.
- Tough guy Liam Gallagher took his naughty language to Twitter after being banned from swearing at Leeds. Does this guy pose any value whatsoever anymore?
- Here’s something kind of sad that nobody wants: a new Jay & Silent Bob movie.
- There was also a Chester Bennington tribute at the VMAs, but they cut to commercial. Fuck sanctity, right?
- Ice-T is hosting a Tupac & Notorious B.I.G. murder mystery special on Fox, because why the hell not? Nothing is sacred, information is meaningless and we’re all immune to truth. Fuck it.
